It was with fear filled excitement that we waited for our second child to arrive. Which she did a few days after her due date. Fast. But much easier birth than the first one. All about that later. Maybe.
My biggest worry was probably how will I have time for my first born. Will I have any time for my first born? How will he adapt? How will our relationship with my other half work? How will we adapt?
Our second child, according to me, is easier than the first one. But maybe that is because we are as parents slightly more relaxed? We don’t worry about the evening whinging, we have definitely basically thrown the SIDS scare out of the window as this baby sleeps with me, in our bed (and for the first few weeks she always fell asleep on her side…) and it is not new anymore. We have now done this before.
From day one she was not having a bar of being put down in the cot. Not even in the hospital to the annoyance of the midwives (since I had her then sleeping next to me so that I would get ANY sleep) would she sleep in her little basket of plastic. At home she just fell asleep straight away in our bed, attached to my milk machines. And that is how it has continued to this day.
I don’t stress. I know my husband, who is currently camping out in our first born’s room, looks forward to the day he can return to his own bed and so do I. But if I can get a proper night’s sleep by sharing a bed with my baby than so be it. I need the energy (and some help from coffee) to get through the days with two kids.
Our second child also doesn’t like the pram or taking drives in the car which is…really not helpful and a huge pain. The only positive is that her brother doesn’t seem to care about her screaming as he can still easily fall asleep with her in the car. The rest of us are a bit more stressed out after every car journey.
Having time for my first born. Well, that has definitely lessened. And unfortunately the time we do spend together ends up in arguments as I just seem to get annoyed with him a lot. I am working on it though and trying to be more focused on the positives with him and doing fun things and going along with what he enjoys. The first few weeks after the baby was born and she was attached to me 24/7 there was a lot of playgroups and (unfortunately) tv to help cope with the days and that surely didn’t help now as an afterthought. W would have needed my attention but instead I pushed him to do other things so that I could concentrate on the baby. Our relationship is definitely a work in progress. I hope to get better at it.
Murunmesta 